So I just need to get this off my chest.... I cant even go into anymore detail b/c it hurts so bad. My poor gma is going thro so much. She's probably so scared...
This is whats going on...
Gma needed a valve replaced n her heart. Febuary, Friday the 13th she went in for surgery. They had to crack open her chest. There were some complications but she came out alright. They explained to us what they had to do and already I was freakin out. I cant even tell u all they did to her. That was the hardest thing Ive evr been thro. I freaked out, couldnt breath and luckily I was already sitting down.
It was rough, then her heart was irregular so they put a pacemaker in. She was n ICU for abt 2 1/2 weeks. I would like to be able to talk more about it, but it's too hard on my heart. Then she went to a rehab center n Spfd. We went to see her and the place was shit. I was not happy abt it. They werent doing what they shld hav. But I got to hang out w/her and I put my chair by hers and leaned my head on her shoulder and she held my hand. I got a pic w/ her! She told me she wanted to see Dobby, so the next weekend we were going to bring Dobby w/ us...
Well, the next day I got a ph call that she had stopped breathing and her heart stopped. They had to do CPR and rushed her back to ICU. They had to open her back up b/c when they did CPR it messed w/ her chest. They put her back on a ventilator and put a feeding tube n. Her kidneys are no longer functioning, so a few dys later they put her on temp dialysis. They've left her chest open and they are packing it.
Now they have her on perm dialysis and put a trache n b/c shes now totally dependant on the vent.
Shes been sleeping thro all of this, she woke up enough to see papa. I guess theres been a lot of drama. Her sister wants the dr.s to wake her up. They have her sedated bc she gets anxious and tries to pull the tube out. Me and her talked abt it and she sd she didnt like waking up w/ the tube. She sd it scared her and she knows what I went thro.
So they r leaving decisions to papa, but he catches shit when its not what somebody else wants. Why wld u wake her up to let her kno shes gonna die! I kno she'll b scared an beside she cant talk anyway. Ive been so torn up abt it all. I love my gma so much, I cant evn describe. She's always been there for me. I havent made it to the hosp. this b/c Troy was sick, then I got sick and now it's so bad I dnt know if I can handle seeing her. My sisters havent been back there either. My mom said she looks terrible. I think it better off to let her be in painless sleep bc she would b so upset that she couldnt talk and wld be so scared. My mom told me that with all the machines shes on and the way her bed is that I probably wouldnt even be able to see her. I think seeing any of us girls would stress her out more...
So on top of all that, we are moving n two weeks, I have to pack. Not to mention I need to switch elec. water, phone/internet, dish and change caseworker, change counties, plus I have to find an attendant and I def feel overwhelmed.
So now that Im blabbing on and on, I'll let you go.
Yours Truly
ShAwNa
This is whats going on...
Gma needed a valve replaced n her heart. Febuary, Friday the 13th she went in for surgery. They had to crack open her chest. There were some complications but she came out alright. They explained to us what they had to do and already I was freakin out. I cant even tell u all they did to her. That was the hardest thing Ive evr been thro. I freaked out, couldnt breath and luckily I was already sitting down.
It was rough, then her heart was irregular so they put a pacemaker in. She was n ICU for abt 2 1/2 weeks. I would like to be able to talk more about it, but it's too hard on my heart. Then she went to a rehab center n Spfd. We went to see her and the place was shit. I was not happy abt it. They werent doing what they shld hav. But I got to hang out w/her and I put my chair by hers and leaned my head on her shoulder and she held my hand. I got a pic w/ her! She told me she wanted to see Dobby, so the next weekend we were going to bring Dobby w/ us...
Well, the next day I got a ph call that she had stopped breathing and her heart stopped. They had to do CPR and rushed her back to ICU. They had to open her back up b/c when they did CPR it messed w/ her chest. They put her back on a ventilator and put a feeding tube n. Her kidneys are no longer functioning, so a few dys later they put her on temp dialysis. They've left her chest open and they are packing it.
Now they have her on perm dialysis and put a trache n b/c shes now totally dependant on the vent.
Shes been sleeping thro all of this, she woke up enough to see papa. I guess theres been a lot of drama. Her sister wants the dr.s to wake her up. They have her sedated bc she gets anxious and tries to pull the tube out. Me and her talked abt it and she sd she didnt like waking up w/ the tube. She sd it scared her and she knows what I went thro.
So they r leaving decisions to papa, but he catches shit when its not what somebody else wants. Why wld u wake her up to let her kno shes gonna die! I kno she'll b scared an beside she cant talk anyway. Ive been so torn up abt it all. I love my gma so much, I cant evn describe. She's always been there for me. I havent made it to the hosp. this b/c Troy was sick, then I got sick and now it's so bad I dnt know if I can handle seeing her. My sisters havent been back there either. My mom said she looks terrible. I think it better off to let her be in painless sleep bc she would b so upset that she couldnt talk and wld be so scared. My mom told me that with all the machines shes on and the way her bed is that I probably wouldnt even be able to see her. I think seeing any of us girls would stress her out more...
So on top of all that, we are moving n two weeks, I have to pack. Not to mention I need to switch elec. water, phone/internet, dish and change caseworker, change counties, plus I have to find an attendant and I def feel overwhelmed.
So now that Im blabbing on and on, I'll let you go.
Yours Truly
ShAwNa
I adore my Grandma....
You have no idea.....
You have no idea.....
Mom and Gma
This is the last time I saw my gma!
I love her more than anyone kno's...
I love her more than anyone kno's...
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