November 11, 2006. It started off as a normal day, I had the day off from work so I slept in late and started cleaning house. Troy my boyfriend at the time had to work until six o'clock that night. My grandma was in the hospital with pneumonia. When I got done cleaning house I decided that I wanted to go out with my friends, it'd been a while and me and Troy had been fighting, so I got in the shower. While I was getting ready Troy called, he was on his way home from work. He asked what I was doing and I told them that I was getting ready. He asked me if I was going out that night and I said yes. He didn't argue with me or anything he just said okay.
By the time he got home I was fixing my hair, I looked all cute so my hair to match. Troy asked me what I was doing that night and I told hin I was going to stop by at the hospital and visit my grandma and then go meet my friends at the bar. He asked me if I could give him a ride to town and buy him cigarettes before I left. So I did then dropped him back off at home. So I'm on my way to the hospital, when I got there I talked to grandma and told her that me and Troy had been fighting. I stayed for about 30 minutes I asked for some money for gas but thats not what it was spent on, and then was off to the bar.
I had to stop on the way and buy me a 40oz. Of course I couldn't go anywhere without alcohol. When I got to the bar, all my friends were there so I had some catching up to do.Next thing I know it's shot after shot after shot. I can't even tell you what the shots were of because I have no idea. I just drank it. The next thing I remember is dancing a little bit and then all of a sudden I'm in the ditch. I remember thinking that if I didn't get out of the ditch a cop would drive by and I would go to jail. Going to jail was the last thing I wanted. I was still on probation for my first DWI and if I got caught it was an automatic 30 days in jail. If that happened I would loose my job, and that couldn't happen.
The next thing I remember is being on a gravel road in some strange vehicle. They had pulled my car out of the ditch. So I got back in my car and they took off. I slightly remember trying to call my boyfriend, my best friend and then the bar, in no particular order.
Next, I wake up in a hospital and have no idea where I'm at. All I remember is seeing Troy, my boyfriend and my mom and dad. They were trying to do some kind of breathing treatment and I was scared shit-less, not even sure of what happened. I remember them telling me it was going to be okay I was in a car accident. Then I realized that I had no voice, so my screaming was useless. I thought that I was kicking my legs and flailing my arms, but come to find out they were'nt moving at all. There is obviously a lot that I don't remember and it's probably a good thing. As time went by I learned that I drank way too much and started dancing on the tables, was behind the bar pouring drinks and just going crazy but having fun. The next thing everybody knew I was gone.
Come to find out that when I got stuck in the ditch I walked to somebody's house and told them what happened.
I guess what happened was when I hit the ditch I messed up my steering on my car. When I took off again I ran off the road, flipped my car, took out 100 feet of fence, then hit a telephone pole. I guess when I hit the telephone pole I got whiplash so bad that it broke my neck. This was the first broken bone I've ever had in my life. First time I was ever in a hospital as a patient. And the first time I ever felt completely helpless.
My mom and dad stayed in hospital with me and it took me a couple months before I could talk. I was in ICU for two weeks, I went toxic and they had to do a blood transfusion, the doctor had to fuse my fourth through seventh vertebrae with screws and a metal cage. I felt like I had a torn up face but it was just swollen, and I had a neck brace on. I also had a trache in my throat to help me breathe. I was on a ventilator for a while and had a feeding tube. They had me on morphine and this made me hallucinate, I was so scared I thought everybody was tying me down. I thought that's why couldn't move. I couldn't talk I couldn't hit a call light, and I couldnt move my body. After ICU I went to acute care and was there for a couple more weeks. I was scared to death to sleep, I was afraid I would stop breathing and never wake up. Which is kind of ironic because at times I wished that I would not wake up. There were times when breathing became so hard I just wanted to take my last breath. I even saw my great grandma, who had been dead for a couple years, in my room smiling at me.
I then went to rehab and was there for two more months. They tried teaching me to feed myself. My left arm was stronger so I used that. At first I could not even get my hand to mouth. They worked on arm exercises, stretching my legs and working on balance for me to set up. Since I was paralyzed from the chest down I could not balance or set up on my own because I had no stomach muscles. It was a lot of hard work and I would never wish it upon anyone. There's so much more in the story then I can go into right now, I don't want to bore you.
Anyways I kept asking for Troy and my mom and dad told me that they had gotten into a fight with him and told him not to come back to the hospital. They said if I wanted to see him they would call him for me. Finally one day they called him and he showed up and it was very awkward. I believed that he up and left me, because he didn't want to be with me like this. I still cant talk through all this time and my mom wouldn't leave the room so we didn't say much. He whispered in my ear that he loved me and he would be here for me. I was so confused I just didn't know what to believe.
Nobody was allowed to visit me at this point, I told the nurses that I wanted to have visitors and they started to let people come see me. My friends showed up and it was very awkward too. It is a feeling I cannot explain when your bestfriend is feeding you b/c you cant. So February 2 of 2007 I was released. A couple of my friends came with my mom to pick me up. I moved in with my mom and dad, mainly because I felt like I didn't have a choice.
Check out my next blog for what happened when I got home from the Hospital.
By the time he got home I was fixing my hair, I looked all cute so my hair to match. Troy asked me what I was doing that night and I told hin I was going to stop by at the hospital and visit my grandma and then go meet my friends at the bar. He asked me if I could give him a ride to town and buy him cigarettes before I left. So I did then dropped him back off at home. So I'm on my way to the hospital, when I got there I talked to grandma and told her that me and Troy had been fighting. I stayed for about 30 minutes I asked for some money for gas but thats not what it was spent on, and then was off to the bar.
I had to stop on the way and buy me a 40oz. Of course I couldn't go anywhere without alcohol. When I got to the bar, all my friends were there so I had some catching up to do.Next thing I know it's shot after shot after shot. I can't even tell you what the shots were of because I have no idea. I just drank it. The next thing I remember is dancing a little bit and then all of a sudden I'm in the ditch. I remember thinking that if I didn't get out of the ditch a cop would drive by and I would go to jail. Going to jail was the last thing I wanted. I was still on probation for my first DWI and if I got caught it was an automatic 30 days in jail. If that happened I would loose my job, and that couldn't happen.
The next thing I remember is being on a gravel road in some strange vehicle. They had pulled my car out of the ditch. So I got back in my car and they took off. I slightly remember trying to call my boyfriend, my best friend and then the bar, in no particular order.
Next, I wake up in a hospital and have no idea where I'm at. All I remember is seeing Troy, my boyfriend and my mom and dad. They were trying to do some kind of breathing treatment and I was scared shit-less, not even sure of what happened. I remember them telling me it was going to be okay I was in a car accident. Then I realized that I had no voice, so my screaming was useless. I thought that I was kicking my legs and flailing my arms, but come to find out they were'nt moving at all. There is obviously a lot that I don't remember and it's probably a good thing. As time went by I learned that I drank way too much and started dancing on the tables, was behind the bar pouring drinks and just going crazy but having fun. The next thing everybody knew I was gone.
Come to find out that when I got stuck in the ditch I walked to somebody's house and told them what happened.
I guess what happened was when I hit the ditch I messed up my steering on my car. When I took off again I ran off the road, flipped my car, took out 100 feet of fence, then hit a telephone pole. I guess when I hit the telephone pole I got whiplash so bad that it broke my neck. This was the first broken bone I've ever had in my life. First time I was ever in a hospital as a patient. And the first time I ever felt completely helpless.
My mom and dad stayed in hospital with me and it took me a couple months before I could talk. I was in ICU for two weeks, I went toxic and they had to do a blood transfusion, the doctor had to fuse my fourth through seventh vertebrae with screws and a metal cage. I felt like I had a torn up face but it was just swollen, and I had a neck brace on. I also had a trache in my throat to help me breathe. I was on a ventilator for a while and had a feeding tube. They had me on morphine and this made me hallucinate, I was so scared I thought everybody was tying me down. I thought that's why couldn't move. I couldn't talk I couldn't hit a call light, and I couldnt move my body. After ICU I went to acute care and was there for a couple more weeks. I was scared to death to sleep, I was afraid I would stop breathing and never wake up. Which is kind of ironic because at times I wished that I would not wake up. There were times when breathing became so hard I just wanted to take my last breath. I even saw my great grandma, who had been dead for a couple years, in my room smiling at me.
I then went to rehab and was there for two more months. They tried teaching me to feed myself. My left arm was stronger so I used that. At first I could not even get my hand to mouth. They worked on arm exercises, stretching my legs and working on balance for me to set up. Since I was paralyzed from the chest down I could not balance or set up on my own because I had no stomach muscles. It was a lot of hard work and I would never wish it upon anyone. There's so much more in the story then I can go into right now, I don't want to bore you.
Anyways I kept asking for Troy and my mom and dad told me that they had gotten into a fight with him and told him not to come back to the hospital. They said if I wanted to see him they would call him for me. Finally one day they called him and he showed up and it was very awkward. I believed that he up and left me, because he didn't want to be with me like this. I still cant talk through all this time and my mom wouldn't leave the room so we didn't say much. He whispered in my ear that he loved me and he would be here for me. I was so confused I just didn't know what to believe.
Nobody was allowed to visit me at this point, I told the nurses that I wanted to have visitors and they started to let people come see me. My friends showed up and it was very awkward too. It is a feeling I cannot explain when your bestfriend is feeding you b/c you cant. So February 2 of 2007 I was released. A couple of my friends came with my mom to pick me up. I moved in with my mom and dad, mainly because I felt like I didn't have a choice.
Check out my next blog for what happened when I got home from the Hospital.
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